a return to happiness

the other night i had a dream and as i awoke my immediate thought was 'a return to happiness'.   i have been dreaming a lot lately.  vivid dreams that stay with me for days.  they are always followed by a clearly stated thought just as i am returning from the dream to my daily life.  now i wonder if this is my minds way of appeasing daily stresses and fears?  or am i tapping into a universal unconscious where truth can be found.  Carl Jung said " the wealth of a culture is it's images".  this i love.   his writings have always been important to me.  thirty plus years ago when i was in a very dark place not knowing what to do, i was somehow directed to his work.  his thoughts open doors for me.  i felt he held my hand and led me to my truth.  why am i here?  what am i to do with this life?  these were my questions i could not find answers for.  i went into seclusion, read Jung and prayed.  then one night as i sat in a chair by an open window a small voice in me said 'i really like to color'.  is this what i am to do!  i have three small children and no husband or education.  how will this every be possible.  yet oddly i was filled with a sense of excitement.  i went to tell my mother and step-father.  i would be going to college and would become an artist.  they were horrified.  get a husband they screamed.  you have children.  try and find a man who will marry you while you are young and still pretty.  i was crushed.  no support there.  an anger welled up inside of me.  but instead of stopping the desire, the decision i had made intensified.  i did go to school and major in fine art.  i did become an artist.  no regrets even in this momentary state of failure.  so today i celebrate my independence.  i am grateful.