a return to happiness

the other night i had a dream and as i awoke my immediate thought was 'a return to happiness'.   i have been dreaming a lot lately.  vivid dreams that stay with me for days.  they are always followed by a clearly stated thought just as i am returning from the dream to my daily life.  now i wonder if this is my minds way of appeasing daily stresses and fears?  or am i tapping into a universal unconscious where truth can be found.  Carl Jung said " the wealth of a culture is it's images".  this i love.   his writings have always been important to me.  thirty plus years ago when i was in a very dark place not knowing what to do, i was somehow directed to his work.  his thoughts open doors for me.  i felt he held my hand and led me to my truth.  why am i here?  what am i to do with this life?  these were my questions i could not find answers for.  i went into seclusion, read Jung and prayed.  then one night as i sat in a chair by an open window a small voice in me said 'i really like to color'.  is this what i am to do!  i have three small children and no husband or education.  how will this every be possible.  yet oddly i was filled with a sense of excitement.  i went to tell my mother and step-father.  i would be going to college and would become an artist.  they were horrified.  get a husband they screamed.  you have children.  try and find a man who will marry you while you are young and still pretty.  i was crushed.  no support there.  an anger welled up inside of me.  but instead of stopping the desire, the decision i had made intensified.  i did go to school and major in fine art.  i did become an artist.  no regrets even in this momentary state of failure.  so today i celebrate my independence.  i am grateful.

chris clark art in new orleansKM

  Being an artist is always a challenge but with our American economy today,  this is really a journey of faith.  Why do we make this decision!  For me, it seemed to be a way to communicate and serve others.  Create images of expression which would connect to others on a universal level.  Maybe give a moment of peaceful meditation at the end of a stressful day.  i knew i was searching for relief.  my intention was to reach others who felt as  disconnected as i did.  find beauty, understand what was truth in contemporary society.  when you study art history you see a society mark time with it's presence.  i thought i will be a reporter of my times.  i will proclaim what life is like as a woman artist in New Orleans, in America in the 21st century.  a lot to take on but this is where i landed.  my determination took me on a long journey, thirty years and counting, doing what i love.  but today, as i sit here in this coffee shop on North Carrollton avenue using their inter net service, i am questioning everything.  unable to pay my bills, in debt for the first time in my life i try to come up with a solution.  i keep quotes in journals.  one says "when nothing works, do nothing".   okay, then what?  does artwork get better because we suffer?  everyone suffers at some point in time.  do we invite suffering as artist?  my suffering is over topping just like the levels did when hurricane Katrina invaded this city.  loss came knocking.  change, reduction, despair and fear followed me like a dog on the hunt.  decisions made cascaded into a black hole which seems to have no end.  the economy smacks us all.  we tumble to the ground.  as a demented  bonus, this gulf region is hit by an oil spill which is predicted to effect the area for the rest of our lifetime.  www.chrisclarkartist.com

chris clark artist, new orleans: chris clark art in new orleansKM

chris clark artist, new orleans: chris clark art in new orleansKM: " Being an artist is always a challenge but with our American economy today, this is really a journey of faith. Why do we make this decisi..."